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“Celebrating the most festive day of the year with family or with a noisy group of friends is logical and common, but life sometimes presents us with other circumstances.”
I have always been a very family person. Parents love to remember how little Lyuba would run to hug and comfort even adults in moments of sadness, patting them on the back with her small palm.
I always celebrated the New Year holidays only with my family, first with my relatives, and then with my husband. We were together for 11 years, since our student days, and we even fulfilled a common dream: we moved from cold Siberia to a beautiful city near the Baltic Sea. And they got divorced. Happens.
Photo: istockphoto.com/AleksandarNakic
I found myself alone, sadly realizing that in my marriage I was spending too little time on my own goals and it was time to correct this. I had a professional blog that I put all my energy into. Survive financially and at the same time take a break from the baggage of difficult emotions.
After six months of hard work, I looked from the monitor to the window and saw snow and bright garlands on the neighbors’ windows. The new year was approaching.
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I was wondering what to do about flying four thousand miles with my family. For some reason, I wanted to face my loneliness instead, to stop hiding from it in work matters. I realized that this is an ideal opportunity to gain new experiences! What it will be, positive or negative, depends only on me.
Why not do something just for you and according to your own rules, since you have that opportunity? For the first time in my life I allowed myself not to spend half a day dancing in the kitchen and not decorating the Christmas tree. Well I don’t like it! Instead, I bought some cute pajamas, cut up just my favorite Olivier salad, and uncorked a bottle of sparkling wine.
Photo: istockphoto.com/Anna Ostanina
Closer to midnight, I lit a candle, took a sheet of paper and, accompanied by the atmospheric songs of Frank Sinatra, wrote down how much I had managed to do in a year, what I had overcome: going through a divorce, staying in my favorite city By the sea, instead of working as a curator on other people’s projects, I started my own.
When the bells rang, I looked at the sheet of paper covered in writing and felt proud of myself.
Photo: istockphoto.com/fotostorm
There have been many wonderful New Year’s nights in my life, and this is one of them. After all, we feel truly alone not alone, but in the company of people with whom we are not on the same path. My January began with a victory over loneliness and the following year I was surrounded by people who were not related by documents, but by heart. Wishes made at the festive midnight come true.
Also read:
How to prepare for the New Year to make it a success: detailed instructions
The psychologist’s opinion.
Systemic family therapist, expert in the online school of psychological professions “Psychodemia”
“How to sustain yourself in inflection moments? The first thing to do is recognize reality: it has changed. This applies to any unpleasant event, whether it is the departure of a loved one, a move, or problems at work.”
For example, if you broke up with your loved one, it is important to realize that the relationship has really come to an end. You must give yourself the opportunity to cry, that is, get rid of the emotions you feel about it.
Practices with a letter expressing gratitude or anger for some reason help with this. The message is not sent anywhere, but it allows you to discard those feelings that allow you to live and enjoy joyful moments.
You can follow the example of the heroine, who saw a new reality, her true goals and desires. After all, we often do something because it is the right thing to do. For example, Lyuba decided to celebrate the New Year in her own way. Not with your family or while preparing a festive table, but alone with yourself and your difficult feelings.
Photo: istockphoto.com/martin-dm
In difficult times, it is important to understand what you really want at the moment. Give yourself permission to follow your desires. Don’t forget to pay attention to your body too. There are some basic things that will help with this:
How much and how we sleep affects our physical and emotional well-being. Go to bed before 10:00 p.m. and ventilate the room before doing so. Put your phone away at night and read or listen to music. This will calm the mind, before going to bed you can do breathing practices, for example, breathing in a square: inhale for a count of two, hold your breath for a count of two, and exhale for a count of two. This practice helps you focus on breathing and relax; drink warm water in the morning, and during the day, drink a glass of water once every hour; grounding, that is, accepting reality, applauding the body for a minute. Carefully and gently hit all its parts with the palm of your hand, the practice of grounding allows you to escape thoughts and focus on the present. We approach the window and examine the details, naming each object that catches our attention.
If you cannot cope with the situation on your own, be sure to contact a specialist. They will help you get through a difficult period in life.
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THE NAIS IS OFFICIAL EDITOR ON NAIS NEWS